kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
