I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she told me i tasted like america
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
