Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize