he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am available for nakedness
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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