New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
