i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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