Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
