so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
