I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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