I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
there is puke in my bra ... again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
