I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
