is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
