problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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