Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she looked like the before picture.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
