he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
