are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
