her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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