I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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