omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is Oprah even human
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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