Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
