You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
