hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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