There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
