The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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