do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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