I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
