those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
