Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
