so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
