Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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