So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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