I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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