So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
