We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
