Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
