there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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