I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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