You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just want nice things and good sex
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
