I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
