Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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