hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
