BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
