I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
