Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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