I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
