I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
