She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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