my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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