I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
nutella sex= disaster
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
