i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize