apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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