This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize