this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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