you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
