I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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