Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
