I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize