I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
