I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
