Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
