I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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