i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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