Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
its not stalking. its research.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
